What to do if Prelabor Lasts for Weeks

It’s not uncommon for women to ease into labor. Most women start experiencing Braxton-Hicks or prelabor contractions around 7-8 months along. These are non-painful, unrhythmic contractions that don’t cause a lot of cervical change. But as her due date starts getting closer these Braxton-hicks contractions start transitioning to true labor contractions. She’ll gradually cycle off the Braxton-hicks contractions and into true labor contractions. And this transition may take weeks. This may be very confusing for both of you, resulting in many trips to the hospital.

So here’s what to do if she’s having a lot of contractions, but isn’t in true labor yet.

• Talk to her care provider. Find out when the hospital wants to see you and stick to it. If the hospital says come in when contractions are 3 to 5 minutes apart, lasting 60 seconds and been that way for 1-2 hours then they want you to wait until contractions are like that. Don’t jump the gun and come in too early because they’ll probably send you home. And no one likes being sent home.

• Keep her mind off the contractions. If these contractions aren’t uncomfortable they probably aren’t the real thing. Keep her busy with meals out, games, visitors, shopping trips and fun activities like picnics and movies. When she can’t stay busy anymore and has to focus on the contractions to get through them, it’s a signal these are real contractions.

• Have sex. Unless your doctor has told you otherwise, feel free to have plenty of sex. It’ll be the last time for a while, so enjoy it; you can’t harm the baby. Need another reason? Sex produces a hormone called oxytocin that causes contractions! In addition, semen contains prostaglandins (hormones) that can ripen the cervix. And if she’s not in the mood for intercourse, that’s fine too. There are other things you both can do that provide nearly the same effects as intercourse.

• Don’t obsess about timing the contractions. It’s not that big of a deal. She will let you know when contractions are getting stronger and closer together.

• Wait for the frown. Each time she experiences a cycle of contractions she’ll probably think this is the real thing. But when the contractions change to true labor contractions she’ll probably frown and comment how these contractions feel different than the other ones she was experiencing. When that happens, you’ll probably find those contractions are the real deal and they’ll get stronger, longer and closer together.

• Encourage her to relax. Relaxation may make the contractions go away, or it may make them into true labor contractions. Pamper her as much as is humanly possible, while making sure you’re not too worn out during this process.

• Schedule fun activities. Encourage her to schedule something fun to do every single day for a week past her due date. That way she’ll wake up in the morning excited because she’s got something fun scheduled that day. And she’ll be okay (or at least a little better) if the baby doesn’t come that day.

• Rest. Make sure you’re resting and taking care of yourself as much as possible. If you wear yourself out stressing in the few weeks before labor begins, you won’t be as much help to your partner.

• Enjoy this time. While you’ve been waiting months to meet your baby, you’ll look back wishing you had a few more days without baby. Enjoy being able to watch a movie all the way through, have a conversation with your partner and sleeping entirely through the night—because those days are almost done.

Helping a Woman Have an Unmedicated Birth

So your partner wants to go unmedicated—she wants to avoid an epidural. And she’s counting on you to help her do it. So how do you help?

• Avoid the unnecessary. You know the basics by now. Try to avoid inductions, try to avoid pitocin and try to avoid letting medical professionals break her water, since it may make labor stronger, testing her resolve to go without the epidural. However, keep in mind that sometimes you just can’t avoid things like pitocin; in some cases these tools are absolutely necessary.

• Talk about your options. So she wants to avoid an epidural. What are her thoughts about narcotics? Would she want a narcotic shot over an epidural or does she want to avoid that too?

• Think about scenarios. What are you going to do if it’s a super long labor or if it looks like she’s heading for a cesarean? How about if she starts panicking? What about if the nurse/doctor start pushing an epidural on her? What if they don’t let her get out of bed/walk the halls/ be in the shower? How are you going to help her now?

• Practice. If you want your labor to go as smoothly as possible, you have to practice your breathing and positions, or you won’t remember how to help her. It only takes a few minutes a couple times a week.

• Become educated. You have to be the one in charge of keeping her comfortable—not her. You must know many ways to help her during the process.

• Come up with a gimmick. You need something to say to her if she asks for the epidural. I told my husband to talk me out of the epidural if I asked for it. I told him to remind me that I didn’t want a urinary catheter and I wanted to be up and moving as soon after my birth as possible. When I did ask for the epidural (and I did) he reminded me of why I didn’t want it. And after he reminded me, I was back and commited to going unmedicated.

• Watch out for the test. I tested my husband, asking for an epidural before I really NEEDED one; I wanted to know what he would do. What can I say? It was my hormones turning me into a mega-witch (not one of my best moments). Some women will do this during labor. Watch out for it.

• Figure out what to do during transition. Remember, transition is the phase of labor right before pushing and is the hardest, but shortest part of labor. This is the point many women ask for an epidural because they hit a wall. However, if you can get her through transition, she probably doesn’t need an epidural. Talk it over and decide what to do if she asks for an epidural in transition.

• Choose a code word. Some women will labor asking for an epidural, but not really want one (welcome to the fun world of women!). In this case, a code word meaning “I actually do want the epidural” can be helpful.

• Step it up if she asks for the epidural. If she’s asking for an epidural, she needs more help. And you have to figure out a way to help her.

• Be prepared for it to test your resolve too. It’s hard to watch someone you love in pain, especially if they’re very vocal about it. It may seem easier on both of you if she just gives in and gets the epidural. Many coaches (out of love) will start suggesting the epidural. And if you suggest it, she’ll probably take you up on it. Make sure you’re committed to her going unmedicated too.