How to Keep Calm

I posted this tip for one of my dads who is very anxious about his partner's upcoming birth.

It’s time to head to the hospital. Your partner’s doing fine, breathing through the contraction and coping really well. But you’re starting to freak out. Here are some things you can do to help you stay calm through the process.

Breathe. Remember that slow paced breathing you learned in class? In through the nose, out through the mouth, focusing on your breathing. It’s not just for her; it’s for you too. Breathe with her through the contractions and you’ll stay calmer.

Ask someone else to be there. If you know there’s another support person, her sister, mom, best friend or even a doula, you may feel calmer. You won’t have to remember everything and the other support person can give you breaks.

Take breaks. If you’re really having a hard time handling things, leave the room for a minute. If there’s no other support person, ask the nurse to come in and sit with your partner. Pace the halls, call a friend or head down to the cafeteria so you can come back calmer.

Watch for negative thoughts. If you constantly have worries about your partner or about the baby, or the slightest comment from the nurse or the doctor makes you visualize the worst case scenario, stop thinking those thoughts! Take a deep breath and force your mind to think about something happier. Each time your thoughts go back to that worse case scenario, stop your thoughts. Thinking about the worst thing that can happen isn’t going to help her, it’ll stress and exhaust you.

Ask lots of questions. If you don’t understand why something is being done ask for an explanation. Understanding things may help you keep calm and you can explain things better to your partner.