How to Communicate with your Partner

Communication in labor is very important. However, it can be difficult. Both of you will be tired and emotional. You both may be hungry. She’ll also be hormonal and dealing with contractions. So how do you effectively communicate with your partner?

• Check in with her occasionally. Find out if you’re actually helping her with your touch or your words.

• Ask her what she thinks will help. However, if she says she doesn’t know you MUST be prepared to come up with a way to help. Sometimes you have to take charge.

• Tell her what to do. If she asks what she should be doing the worst thing you can do is say, ‘I don’t know. Whatever you want’. If she’s asking for your opinion, you have to give it. Tell her what to do and then check in a couple of contractions later to see if she wants to try something else.

• Understand that she may not make a lot of sense. She may tell you you’re rubbing her back wrong, so you stop. And then 2 contractions later she’s asking you to rub her back again, but not that way, the other way. Do the best you can and try not to become frustrated with her. Keep trying and you’ll come up with a way to help.

• Be strong. Sometimes you have to be a little forceful with your partner during labor. If she says she can’t go on, you have to tell her she’s doing great. If she asks for a cesarean (and there’s no medical reason for one) you have to tell her no, that she has the strength to keep going. If she starts panicking, you have to tell her to look at you and BREATHE. If she’s supposed to be pushing the baby out and says she can’t, sometimes you have to say ‘Yes you can! Now PUSH’.